This Week In NECCO #4: Talkin Bout Sweet Seasons

As 9 of 10 guys are sick of seeing the same couple of teams leading off the weekly wrap*, we'll instead take a look at Period 4's biggest gainers and losers.

*The 10th guy shouldn't be too comfortable with it either, since who actually believes a team could go wire-to-wire in first place throughout an entire season?

Buckner's Boys! +16.5 points (5th overall)
Homer-rific week lifts BB's from cellar to mid-cellar. (Optimist: mid-penthouse. (Pervert: Mid-Hustler.))

The Lenny Websters -17.0 (10th)
Pitchers held their ground for the Websters this week, pretty much (-0.5). Quick math will testify to the unspeakable offensive performance.

The Sal Buteras +6.5 (3rd)
If the Buteras were a grocery store (and rumor has it they once were), the special of the week: sockeye. 12 HR, 42 RBI led league.

Le Fleur De Fragile -9.5 (9th) The thin line between fragile and limpwristed gets tested. 2 HR, 23 RBI trail league.

Mookie Dribblers +6.0 (2nd)
Like throwing noodle-arms at the wall, seeing what sticks: 12 games started, 4-5 record reflects performance.

The Dummy Hoyas -2.5 (8th)
Defying conventional logic, the Hoyas have more runs scored than 4 of the 9 teams above them in OBP.

last place robots +3.0 (6th)
Barring an uptick in innings pitched, the LPR are the only team on pace to forfeit their ratio categories in pitching.

Somerville Squires -2.5 (4th)
Top 3 in 5 of 6 hitting categories; bottom 4 in 4 of 6 pitching categories. It's a balanced team, in a way.

The Wookiee Squirts +2.0 (7th)
Looking at the week 4 stats of Mark DeRosa and Miguel Cabrera reminds me of the line about Moe Berg: "He can speak 17 languages and can't hit in any of them."

Medford Crackers -2.5 (1st)
No longer Mr. 100-Point Team, the Crackers still control 80% of the hitting and 83% of the pitching points available.

+/- (4/21-4/24)

The Dummy Hoyas
+John Danks, -Hunter Pence
+Joey Votto, -Mike Jacobs
+Hunter Pence, -Paul Konerko
+Jonathan O. Sanchez, -Francisco Liriano

Timing for Dummies:
Mike Jacobs -> Period 2 -> Free Agent -> .427/.826 (3 HR, 5 RBI)
Mike Jacobs -> Period 3 -> Free Agent -> .348/.682 (1 HR, 4 RBI)
Mike Jacobs -> Period 4 -> Dumb Hoy -> .222/.250 (0 HR, 0 RBI)

Needless to say, the rarely patient GM of the Hoyas jettisoned Jacobs for Joey. Alas, Votto, as a Free Agent last week, posted a .286/.857 (3 HR, 9 RBI) line. And this week to date he's posted a .417/.727 (1 HR, 2 RBI) line -- all of it prior to becoming a full-time Hoya. Let's see if Votto saved any of that patented Canadian sock for the Hoyas.

In other big Dummy news...Breaking...Francisco Liriano dropped. For Jonathan O. Sanchez. Developing...

Time to see who is Number 1 on Waiver Priority...Why...it's The Dummy Hoyas, who are in a good position in the next 24 hours should they have second thoughts...

The Wookie Squirts
+Mark DeRosa, -Gabe Kapler

While ex-Greenville Drive manager Gabe Kapler may have enjoyed a blazing first three weeks (.390/.737 -- 4 HR, 13 RBI), the Squirts got the following line from him: [insert big blank space]. Not willing to find out if Kapler's hot start will continue (hint: it won't), the Squirts give Mark "Supa" Rosa a roster slot. Here's a guy who is eligible at 2B, 3B, OF (and, of course, DH) and before the end of the year possibly at 1B, while posting a .391/.486 line to date. Nice.

The Mookie Dribblers
+Dioner Navarro, -Mike Napoli

The Dribblers originally drafted Deener and presumably enjoyed all 9 ABs (.333/.444) before Navarro's hand was stepped on. The Dribblers then settled on Plan Napoli, which consisted of 30 ABs and a .250/.433 line. Now back to the originally-scheduled catcher...

Medford Crackers
+Matt Garza, -Nate McClouth

Undoubtedly hearing word that Garza was soon to come off the DL after a bout of radial nerve irritation, the Crackers jumped up and ran to the nearest computer to pick him back up before anyone else snapped up that sweet sweet 9.00 ERA/.353 BAA/2.13 WHIP, 0-for-2 in QS pitching.

The Week In Review #3: A Century Of Progress

Having run the "_______ Scale" into the ground after 2 whole weeks, we move onward and upward. Introducing: the Who Performs Similar To Your Team Scale, aka It Really Looks Queer When Brendan Harris Has A Higher OPS Than Travis Hafner/Playing Like Richie Sexson Isn't Usually A Compliment But Take It Because It Means You're In First.

Medford Crackers
.875 OPS: Richie Sexson

Mookie Dribblers
.812 OPS:Jose Reyes

The Sal Buteras
.846 OPS: Garrett Atkins

Somerville Squires
.897 OPS: Hank Blalock

last place robots
.783 OPS: Carlos Lee

The Wookiee Squirts
.791 OPS: Edgar Renteria

The Dummy Hoyas
.725 OPS: Travis Hafner

The Lenny Websters
.819 OPS: Brendan Harris

Le Fleur De Fragile
.767 OPS: Mark Kotsay

Buckner's Boys!
.746 OPS: Corey Hart

Transaction Report: 4/20 Edition

Back to our irregularly scheduled program...

In it for the money, The Dummy Hoyas dropped: Jeremy Accardo, Troy Percival, Franklin Morales, Joe Saunders, Bobby "Bing" Crosby, Manny Parra, Jonathan Octavian Sanchez, Dana "Barrett" Eveland, Nate "LooseTooth" McLouth, Christian Guzman, Manny Parra (again!), Jeff Niemann, and Shaun Marcum.

Replacing 'em? How about: Joe Saunders, Dana Eveland, Bobby Crosby, Cliff "Spaceman" Lee, Jeff Niemann, Jonathan O. Sanchez, Shaun Marcum, Nate McLouth, Christian Guzman, Manny Parra, Scott Olsen, Mike Pelfrey, and Mike Jacobs.

The Hoyas are clearly the hardest working team in fantasy baseball on either side of the Mississippi. They are going to earn the fuck out of our pot.

Grade: The Chronic

Le Fleur de Fragile, alter ego to the plural of the english variety, dropped Joe Borowski. They didn't do anything else. No replacement.

Grade: English Breakfast mixed with some oregano

The Medford Crackers parted ways with Matt Garza, Chad Cordero, Scot Shields, and Eric Gagne. They're replacements, Chad Cordero, Nick Johnson, Eric Gagne and Nate McLouth. Not quite as incestuous as the Bastards but it's up there.

Grade: Acapulco Gold

Mookie Dribblers--who sound like a distant cousin of the Wookiee Squirts, come to think of it--replaced Eric Gagne, JJ Hardy, Kyle Lohse, Jose Contreras, Justin Speier, and Peter Moylan with Kyle Lohse, Jose Contreras, Justin Speier, Peter Moylan, Joe Blanton, and Manny Acosta. Gagne's been passed around a lot.

Grade: AK-47

Somerville Squires moved Ryan Doumit and Ubaldo Jimenez to take on Greg Smith and Ryan Dempster. Dempster might be a shrewd pick provided the Cubs offense continues to run on diesel.

Grade: Standard Issue

The Sal Buteras dropped Orlando Cabrera, Jeff Francis, and Milton Bradley for Jhonny Peralta, Joe Saunders, and Jason Kubel.

Grade: Standard Issue

Chronic slackers, The Wookiee Squirts dropped Carlos Quentin for Gabe "Welcome Back" Kapler.

Grade: Stems and Seeds

NECCO Meet-Up: Where the Dummies Meet the Hoy

Join us for the First Annual NECCO Meet-Up on June 1, 2008 from 12:30 - 3:30 PM at Coolidge Corner in Brookline, MA. Come for the discussion about William Ellsworth "Dummy" Hoy and stay for the pie.

Special Guest: NECCO's own Hoyologist, Dummy Harmon.

Everyone in attendance gets to keep three players for next season.

The Week In Review #2: The Life of Johnston

A wide range of performances in what is known as Period 2. Some Hall of Fame, some All-Star, a couple of question marks, and a guy who looks out of place: Introducing the Johnson Scale.

Medford Crackers
Johnson: Walter
Like an out of control Big Train, can't be stopped.

last place robots
Johnson: Ban
Laissez-faire leadership puts them near the top.

Somerville Squires
Johnson: Randy
Averaging 6.8 points/category. It's a stretch, but the Big Unit stands 6'11".

Mookie Dribblers
Johnson: Davey
"He dislikes the bunt and manages according to the credos of 'pitching and three-run homers' and 'play for one run, lose by one run.'"

The Sal Buteras Johnson: Howard
Minnie Minoso played with Randy Johnson for the 1980 Chicago White Sox; Randy Johnson played with Sal Butera for the 1982 Minnesota Twins. The other Randy Johnson.

Buckner's Boys!
Johnson: Charles
Pure coincidence that Russell Martin is BB catcher.

The Dummy Hoyas
Johnson: Lance
One Dog. Good for 1 point apiece in OBP/SLG.

La Fleur De Fragile
Johnson: Reed
Reed Johnson: averages HBP every 26 AB; La Fleur: 0 HBP in 377 AB.

The Lenny Websters
Johnson: Rankin
In 1914 Rankin Johnson faced Walter Johnson five times. Rankin won the first duel between them 5-0. They then split a pair of 1-0 games. Walter took a 12-0 game and then beat Rankin 1-0 again.

The Wookiee Squirts
Johnson Jansen: Kenley
In a different league. (One where he caught Clayton Kershaw!)

+/- (4/4 - 4/10)

Picking up where we more or less left the plot, as far as I can tell, in this edition we'll cover the moves made from 4/4-4/10.

Medford Crackers
+Xavier Nady, - Stephen Drew
+Scot Shields, - Ted Lilly
+George Sherrill, - Chad Cordero

Dropping Drew, the Crackers placed their faith in the rest of the lineup to produce RBI, SLG and HR, as his departure clears the way for Rafael Furcal and his R, OBP and SB. Complementary parts, for sure, although it appears the Crackers didn't want to go too long watching Drew HR's waste away on the bench (0 for 2 they were). Although it might appear that Nady is around to provide insurance for an out-of-position Nick Swisher, the chronically sore Carlos Beltran, or the question mark that Jason Bay became in 2007, all three are currently carrying the team with exceptional averages (Bay - .421/.400, Beltran - .417/.533, Swisher - .457/.539), so that's a good sign. It also might appear that Nady is around to provide a platoon with Travis Hafner at DH, but in each of the past 2 seasons, Pronk has OPS'd higher against lefties than righties, outperforming Nady's split advantage in the process. For whatever reason he's around that I'm not seeing, he'll at least serve as the X Factor for the Crackers until Furcal gets injured and they pick up David Eckstein to be their Ecks Factor.

Somerville Squires
+Stephen Drew, -Felipe Lopez

Although he's perceived as one of the most stats-friendly managers out there ("The message was clear: 'In a nutshell...it's: Don't give away outs.' That might sound simple enough, yet staggering to Acta is the number of managers and players and teams who don't adhere to that philosophy.") Manny Acta must stagger and/or dagger Felipe Lopez owners everywhere. This is the manager who not only benches Lopez for Cristian Guzman and Ronnie Belliard, but bats Guzman - he of the .301 career OBP in 3,954 AB - leadoff. Meanwhile, a fantasy sub-sleeper with 20 HR/40 SB potential, as well as being eligible at ss, 2b, AND OF rides the pine. Inconceivable!

Mookie Dribblers
+Mike Napoli, - Dioneer Navarro
+Micah Owings, - Daric Barton

Micah Owings was the 240th and final player picked in the draft. He was thereafter dropped for Jeff Keppinger, who supplanted JJ Hardy (220th pick/22nd round) at shortstop. Owings was then reacquired at the expense of Daric Barton, free agent pickup,who took the place of Elijah Dukes, another free agent picked up when Troy Percival (200th pick/20th round) was let go. Mike Napoli was signed to replace the injured Dioneer Navarro (221st pick/23rd round). The ineffective Eric Gagne (201st pick/21st round) was dropped for the likes of Kyle Lohse. [The 18th/19th round picks of the Dribbers, Randy Johnson and Jay Bruce, have not yet appeared in the big leagues this year and it's not guaranteed either will; 17th round pick Rich Harden has already hit the DL.] If they had such poor opinion of their drafting ability, the Dribblers should've just auto-drafted. At this pace, they'll have churned their way through their roster by the All-Star Break.

The Sal Buteras
+Jeremy Hermida, -Michael Bourn
+C.J. Wilson, -Joe Blanton

Although filled with potential and pedigree, the Butera's outfield situation has been nothing short of a hot mess thus far. Enter Jeremy Hermida, who's come on to the tune of a .357/.400/.929, 2 HR, 6 RBI performance in just 14 AB this year. (It never fails to annoy me when otherwise sensible and admirable writers will point to a line such as Hermida's and say, "While he's off to a fast start, you can't expect him to keep it up." Well, thanks for the tip, Mr. Analyst. I'm pretty sure a .929 slugging percentage - currently #1 is Bonds at .863 and #2 is Ruth at .849 - would be impossible to maintain for an entire year.) Anyhow, even when Hermida's averages come down to levels that he could reasonably expected to maintain (.296/.369/.501 in 2007), and with Hanley and Uggla ahead of him in the lineup, he should provide the production for the Buteras that they've been missing.

The Dummy Hoyas
+Carlos Gomez, -Nick Johnson
+Manny Parra, -Jon Rauch
+Mark Reynolds,-Edwin Encarnacion
+Joe Saunders, -Jeremy Accardo
+Dana Eveland,-Troy Percival

While waiting for Evan Longoria to make The Show, The Dummy Hoyas have tried shuffling through a number of choices and settled on Mark Reynolds for the moment. With a little plate discipline, it's possible that Reynolds could be a big star, as his average home run distance last season of 407.9 feet was second only to Prince Fielder's 408 feet average among players with 15 or more homers. Already in a potent young lineup and in a hitter-friendly park, if Reynolds was able to make contact with the ball on a more consistent basis, he'd definitely help anyone's HR category. But, as of this writing, young Longoria has apparently received enough seasoning in the minors (2 whole weeks) and is headed to the starting lineup of the Tampa Bay Rays, so what becomes of Reynolds is anyone's guess.

The Wookiee Squirts
+Randy Wolf, -Mark Prior
+Jair Jurrjens, -Jarrod Saltalamacchia
+Carlos Quentin, -Corey Patterson

In a lineup befouled by underperformance and injury earlier in the season, Carlos Quentin easily slots into the Squirts' lineup as the player with the 2nd-best OBP and the 3rd-best SLG, as well as the most RBI. Although 3 years older than Quentin, and with 6 more seasons in the majors, Patterson has pretty much shown what he's good for on a team, and the only clear advantage he has over the man who replaced him would be in the SB category, and possibly R also. Gaining in one, possibly 2, categories at the expense of 4 others is no way to get ahead, and this was clearly a wise swap for the Squirts.

This Week In NECCO #1: I Started Something I Couldn't Finish

A wide range of performances in what is known as Period 1. Some Hall of Fame, some All-Star, a couple of question marks, and a guy who looks out of place: Introducing the Smith Scale.

Mookie Dribblers
Smith: Ozzie
Quite the smooth week, finishing lower than 5th in only one category (WHIP - 9th). Although if WHIP is any indication of the quality of a pitcher, the ERA and BAA will be sure to rise and the QS will fall.


Medford Crackers
Smith: Hilton
There was little "difference in effectiveness" between the flamboyant Dribblers and the quiet Crackers, but what little difference there was added up. 3 homers during week 1 added up to less power than that of an Appalachian junior college radio station.


Somerville Squires
Smith: Lee
Overpowering at times, as top slots in RBI and SLG indicate.

last place robots
Smith: Carl Reggie
Solid all-around, but falling a bit short in the counting stats (K, QS).

The Dummy Hoyas
Smith: Lonnie
"Always a treat if not always a pleasure to watch." Sad-sack OBP and SLG (288/317) would be fine in a Punto, Pass & Kick competition.

The Sal Buteras
Smith: Al
Fuzzy. Fielder ain't homering, Ellsbury ain't stealing, and Kemp and Sheffield ain't playing. Yet they're up there in most offensive categories, #3 overall in batting.

The Lenny Websters
Smith: Pop Boy
The season's young and so are they.

Buckner's Boys!
Smith: Brick
Something to build on.

The Wookie Squirts
Smith: Skyrocket
The only place to go is up.

Le Fleur de Fragile
SmithSmiga: Jason
In a different league.

Transaction Thursday (Monday Edition)

I'd beg forgiveness, but it's not like anyone else is posting on this blog.

The Hoyas, who should be responsible for writing about their own transactions since they make so many of 'em, dropped Carlos Gomez, Jon Rauch, Nick Johnson, Placido Polanco, Troy Glaus, Andre Eithier, and Jonathan O. Sanchez for Franklin Morales, Manny Parra, Carlos Gomez, Jon Rauch, Edwin Encarnacion, Nick Johnson, and Andre Ethier, respectively. My thoughts on this are this guy is trying to win our league fees.

An issue I would like to raise for the benefit of the few that read this other than myself: The Rules state that a team must finish *OVER* 900 IP and 4000 AB for the season. The few times I've noticed this at the bottom of team pages, everyone was under that. If you finish under, that means your averages (WHIP, ERA, BA) are tossed out. Get on it.